Thursday 30 May 2013

Practicalities of the Nearly Dead

Goodbye Keanu my multiple myeloma story



Being practical throughout this time was difficult. It was hard to “keep your head in the game” when your head was swimming with anxiety and fear.
      But I had to live my life each day in spite of what I was feeling. I had to get up, shower, exchange pleasantries with my family, go shopping and answer the phone. It all seemed so mundane.
      I couldn’t even bring myself to use my disease as a way to elevate my priority status in society. There were occasions, especially waiting in line at the supermarket that I really thought I should get special treatment as the soon-to-be-departed. I really wanted to push forward and instruct my fellow shoppers to get out of my way.
      “Excuse me. Excuse me, dying of cancer, going to the head of the line.” I would dare even the mums with crying infants to challenge me with a more urgent request.
      Instead I waited my turn, smiled and said hello to the cashier, talked about what a bargain broccoli was that week and never let on that I was screaming on the inside.
      But it certainly changed my attitude to how I shopped. I was happy to buy new jeans and cleverly worded cotton tops for my children. (I always pictured someone sitting at a desk at midnight drinking beer and making themselves giggle over each new witty T-shirt saying they came up with like: I gave up drinking, smoking and sex, the worst 15 minutes of my life, or: I am a bomb technician, if you see me running, try and keep up) But although I made sure my children were attired well, I took a “what the hell for?” attitude towards myself. What did I need a new top for? To be buried in? This led to a sudden worry that I would be buried in a really crap outfit. I had a flash that I was lying dead in the coffin in the emerald green and black two piece suit I got at a second-hand store which I bought to wear as an extra to a wedding in the soap opera Shortland Street. It was still hanging in the back of my closet although I hadn’t tried it on for ten years. I saw the angst on the face of the funeral director as he tried to tug the slim skirt over my middle-aged stomach. I saw him panicking after the zipper broke in his hand. He reaches for the stapler and punches in a few tacks to keep the skirt together. Then he turns the skirt around, leaving a slit in the cloth over my ass for eternity. It was too much. I immediately had to filter out of my wardrobe anything that I literally wouldn’t be caught dead in. The 1980s pink Nike tracksuit, the full-length army green polyester vest, the T-shirt with a picture of Heath Ledger on it, they all had to go. Then I had an inspiration. All my life I had always wanted to wear a gown. I never went to a ball, an awards dinner, or anything I had to formally dress up for. I never even wore a wedding gown. I got married in a registry office and wore a suit. It was pretty and practical but every girl wants to be a princess sometime. This was my chance. Instead of going into the ground in a two-piece emerald and black suit, I would go shopping for a new gown. It made me smile. I may never have worn a gown in my lifetime but I would wear one for eternity.

No comments:

Post a Comment